Thursday, September 23, 2010

Things that make you a Catholic that only believes in the so-called "Super Council" Vatican 2


Thanks to Josemaria Lazaro Paulo Jeronimo Martin Carvalho-von verster for the tip.


You Might be a "Vatican II Only Catholic" If...

Its time to have some fun. OK, here are a few questions to ask yourself to see if you are a Vatican II only Catholic. That would be a Catholic who thinks the Church has only existed since the Second Vatican Council.
You might be a Vatican II only Catholic if...

1. You think Vatican II has changed Catholic doctrine.
2. You think that kneeling to receive the Eucharist on your tongue is an outdated medieval practice.
3. You think that a cheap table cloth with a hole cut in it passes for liturgical vestments.
4. You love those ugly felt banners that hang from the ceiling of your church.
5. You think that glass dinner ware passes for the sacred vessels of the Mass.
6. You think it is your right to be part of the flock of Extraordinary ministers that hover around the altar like vultures waiting to grab the “bread and wine.”
7. You think the death penalty should be completely abolished from the face of the earth because you think retribution and justice is cruel.
8. You think the crusades were started by a Pope who loved violence and hated the peaceful religion of the East.
9. You hate St. Thomas Aquinas, and you think he is boring.
10. The only Church document you have ever read is the New Catechism
11. You hate Latin.
12. You hold your hands up, or clap, and sway at Mass.
13. You think that “On Eagles Wings” is great liturgical music to replace Gregorian Chant.
14. You can’t tell the difference between the altar and the tabernacle.
15. You are upset because the Pope says the Church cannot ordain women.
16. You like liturgical dance.
17. You think it is not ecumenical to tell people that the Catholic faith is the one true faith.
18. You think that 'Summorum Pontificum' was a mistake made by the Pope.
19. You think that the Mass is all about the community.
20. You think that Thomas Merton was the greatest mystic of all time.
21. You think that St. Therese of Liseux wanted to be officially ordained a priest.
22. You cite the USCCB as an authority for your Catholic faith.
23. You think that Cardinal Bernardin was a great theologian.
24. You think Karl Rahner was a genius.
25. You think the secondary end of the conjugal act is now the primary and sole end.
26. You think your daughter has a right to serve as an altar boy.
27. You think a head bob replaced genuflection.
28. You think St. Paul was chauvinistic pig because he told women to cover their heads.
29. You substituted the crucifix for a flying Jesus. (Resurrected Christ)
30. You think the sign of peace is an intermission where you get to catch up on the latest news.
31. You think your priest looks better in a sweater than his collar.
32. You think its hip that nuns are now wearing slacks and Reebocks.
33. The only religious art you have in your house are of Ghandi and Dorothy Day.
34. 'Brother Sun, Sister Moon' is your favorite Catholic saint movie of all time.
35. You drop your teens off at the Life Teen Mass.
36. During football season you wear your favorite team jersey to Mass.
37. You think that you have to pray the consecration prayer during Mass along with the priest.
38. The Latin Mass bores you.
39. You think that Mark Shea is the new G.K. Chesterton.
40. Add your own in the comment box.


I'll add mine here...

41. If you think that Anscar Chupungco is the only liturgist that we ought to listen to.
42. If candles must not be placed on the altar.
43.  If your priest hates black.
44.  If you call the altar, "The Table of the Lord" and the Mass "the Meal of Love" or "The Lord's Supper"
45.  If you buy books from Claretian Publication...(ROFL!)
46.  You want dancing children or middle aged men and women holding tambourines while dancing during the singing of "Papuri sa Diyos"
47.  You want the Sinulog and Ati-atihan done during Mass
48.  During your Graduation Mass, your school brings to the Offertory everything like diploma, guitar, scroll, etc.
49.  You think that the only liturgical vestment is a white chasuble and a stole.
50.  You think that the devil is an allegory for the ills of society like corruption, pollution and drugs.
51.  The best Mass to attend to is where the priest makes you laugh during or uses a Powerpoint presentation for his homily.


  1. 52. If you prefer 'polo barong' as a attire for altar servers over the surplice and alb.
    53. You like the nuns wearing short veils and habits.
    54. If you think mass itself forgive mortal sins even you don't go to confession before a priest..
    55. If you think the best liturgy can be found in Sambuhay.
    56. You think that the communion in the hand is the only way of receiving communion.
    57. You think that is more beautiful if the pews in chairs of the Church will be removed.
    58. If you like to attend Holy Mass with 'Charismatic Priests' as celebrants.
    59. If you prefer talking and socializing over silence and prayer before mass.
    60. If you prefer electric guitar, drums and cymbals as an instrument for church music over organ.....

  2. 61. If you prefer your priests to wear their civilian clothes over their cassock.
    62. You like 'spaceship churches' and art gallery churches better than a 'boring' and 'obsolete' baroque and Gothic style churches.
    63. If you think that 'Liturgical Animation' will enhance the active participation of the people.
    64. If you think that Gregorian Music can be sung only in concerts and it is not suitable for Liturgy....
    65. Yoga and Zen meditation is better than Scriptural and Christian Meditation.
    66. You prefer the Lord in the Tabernacle to be placed in an hidden area or in the side of the Church.
    67. If you think that the Liberation theology is the best theology ever taught.
    68. If the Bare Rock or a Log of a Tree is a better altar for your church than a marble and stone altar with a martyr relic.
    69. If you prefer glass or pot chalices and ciboria over the one made of gold and silver.
    70. If you idolize priests and nuns advocating 'social justice' or 'creation welfare' or 'labor rights' over advocating prayer, good virtues, and Christian prayers, devotions and meditation....

  3. 71. If you want to see Jesus in the Eucharist in a nipa hut tabernacle.
    72. Piyaya and Fita biscuits are the best substitute for the Holy Host made of flour and water and the Strawberry and rapsberry wine over the pure grape wine to be used in the Mass.
    73. "Self intinction" is a praiseworthy thing to do when receiving communion.
    74. If you want a "Barney Blessing" to be bestowed to you and your family at the Concluding blessing at mass.
    75. If your priests and nuns spend more time in Supreme Court, Rallies, Police Precincts than on the Church and Convents.
    76. If Confessionals are empty.
    77. If you want to hear your priest sings like a concert king after the prayer after communion at mass.
    78. Mass to be celebrated on a rock...
    79. If you want Lay Ministers to bless your dead, car, houses, religious items, etc....
    80. Fonts are removed or if you have one in your churches, the holy water are always dried up...

  4. 81. If you think you have to be a GKK member in order to receive the Sacraments and a Christian burial.